On Being Published…

Wow! I’m finally published!

I can’t believe it.

It’s been a crazy road, a one filled with all kinds of emotions, thoughts, feelings…. but I’m glad I went through it all. This is just the beginning, after all. Thank you to everyone who has been on this journey with me; I couldn’t have done it without you guys!

I actually sent out to my E-book to everyone that ordered already. It’s $0.99 on Amazon right now, but after 30 days it’ll be $9.99!

My book is on Barnes & Noble too… this is INSANE. It truly feels unreal.

Though I feel like I have more pressure to keep writing and trying to find the most challenging projects as possible, I’m so excited. I’m so excited that I’m nervous and I’m constantly finding new opportunities, struggling to develop a schedule on what I should get done.

In the past, I’ve viewed this pressure as a negative sign. Now, I know it’s because I really care. I’m harnessing my anxiety as fuel to keep moving forward because that’s the best thing I can do.

I’ll be honest, though.

I’m published, I’ve even sent my first round of e-books, and I’m literally getting my print books in my hands next week.

I still feel like I can’t properly enjoy all of this. I’m too stressed about the logistics, which really annoys me.

Publishing is great; it’s a wonderful opportunity and accomplishment.

I AM A PUBLISHED AUTHOR!!!!

However, it seems like it’s illustrated as all super easy, simple, and fun. While it can be at times, it’s definitely not like that as a whole.

Even at the end of this process, I’m still a bit stressed out! It’s just that I don’t let this fear prevent me from enjoying the process.

I’ve been seeing this idea of enjoyment depicted as completely black and white on social media, but that’s usually not the case. We’re affected everyday by social media, so I naturally I have to talk about it in relation to the publishing process.

Most of the time, we’re excited, but we’re also scared.

Most of the time, we’re proud, but apprehensive.

Most of the time, we’re calm, but nervous.

I’ve been feeling like an imposter because I’ve had this concept that I’m already published, so I should be in a prolonged phase of pure enjoyment.

Smiling because I’m excited, but also all those other emotions I keep talking about LOL

Again, I’m super excited, but I’m also nervous and scared and worried. This imposter symptom extends beyond publishing, but I now realize that it’s completely normal to react in all sorts of ways to a major life event.

After all, we’re human. Our emotions are not static.

Society and social media may make us feel like we have to act a certain way, but we don’t. Social media does a wonderful job of capturing moments of beauty, and life is filled with these moments, but that still doesn’t make someone’s aesthetically pleasing Instagram feed even remotely close to what real life is.