5 Interracial Relationship Myths Explained

Race and relationships. Two of the most popular topics that seem to never run out of stories.

Everyone knows race and relationships are not always accurately represented on social media.

In fact, I am frustrated with social media’s representation of interracial relationships. I’ve been seeing a lot of black guys paired with white girls (and they are very cute couples).

However, couples like Indian girls with black guys (*ahem*) or Arab guys with Asian guys are rare!

It could be my own algorithm or there aren’t that many, but it’s been annoying to see a lack of representation.

Interracial marriages have risen 14% since the famous Loving v Virginia case about 40 years ago. There has been more acceptance and success in interracial love.

With all things that rise in popularity, there are certain assumptions and myths.

Not everyone thinks like this, but these are common phrases.

“Interracial marriages have risen 14% since the famous Loving v Virginia case about 40 years ago”

1. “Interracial relationships must be so different than regular ones.”

I mean they are, but not as different as a lot of people may think.

We still have the usual internal arguments, like which Netflix movie to watch on another cozy quarantine Friday night, or why they keep eating TacoBell when they know it makes them extra gassy.

We do have a lot to worry about, don’t get me wrong. They are more external issues though.

For example, dealing with the label of “interracial relationship” rather than “relationship.”

People tend to assume that couples in interracial relationships have such different experiences.

The label recognizes the struggles of interracial couples, yet emphasizes race too much. It’s like dating someone that is not the same color skin as you completely changes everything.

Not everything is completely black and white (like interracial relationships LOL).

We have more concerns on acceptance from family members or clashing with cultures.

Like all relationships, it depends on the couple. It depends on the expectations they have for one another, regardless of race.

People tend to assume that couples in interracial relationships have such different experiences.

2. “I guess you don’t really like your own race too much.”

Ugh. This one is definitely popular.

If you’re with someone outside of your race, they assume that you don’t find your own race attractive.

Or, you haven’t tried hard enough. When people choose to date someone from another race, it doesn’t mean they don’t like their own.

It’s not like they’re like, “NO! I hate fufu, roti sucks, or I never want to hear Spanish music again.”

It’s understandable to question someone who says they don’t want to date their own race. That’s a whole other issue we can definitely talk about later.

Actually, there have been some weird trends on Tik Tok.

There have been some videos of brown guys and black guys saying how much they prefer white girls.

My guess is that these are ways to stir some commotion, typical Tik Tok behavior.

Personally, I’ve been ridiculed for not liking Indian guys. That’s far from the truth. I wanted to find someone that I got along with, respected me, and found attractive.

That happened to not be an Indian guy and there’s nothing wrong with that. I never wanted to be someone to box myself in.

I never wanted to close myself to finding someone amazing because we don’t have the same color arms.

“It’s not like they’re like, ‘NO! I hate fufu, roti sucks, or I never want to hear Spanish music again.'”

3. “You guys are the end to racism!”

Naturally, a lot of us are activists. This doesn’t mean we’re out here preaching that racism no longer exist. There are still risks involved.

There are political and historical power structures of race, like Indians being colorist to black people or white guys fetishizing Asian girls.

Social media makes it seem like all interracial couples are automatic campaigns to end racism.

Of course, a lot of us do get more involved with the plights of racism. Usually, they happen to be personal or shared interests.

For most couples, they didn’t get together for the sole reason to cure discrimination.

They focused more on the love for their partner, and the peace of racism is a positive addition. It doesn’t mean that other BIPOC struggles are no longer valid or “that bad.”

While we are helping the cause, that doesn’t mean we are the cause.

Social media makes it seem like interracial couples are automatic campaigns to end racism.

4. “Does your partner truly understand you?”

You determine the answer to that. Like any relationship, communication and trust are important.

Sometimes, it’s a bit difficult to communicate injustices that one person may face.

This is more relevant if the other person comes from a privileged background.

This doesn’t mean that they will never understand.

The more you focus on difference, the more it will either make or break your bond.

They might not be able to make your favorite dish. But, they might introduce you to food from halfway across the world. They might not understand your language, but you might learn a few cool words in their language.

It’s about perspective!

It can be more challenging if both partners come from culturally rich backgrounds.

Faith and traditions are often a major barriers. One partner may not understand why you call everyone aunty and uncle. The other may not understand why you never eat with a fork.

(Check out Netflix’s latest Namaste Wahala or one of the Bollywood classics Mississippi Masala if you want to learn more about this kind of issue!)

“The more you focus on difference, the more it will either make or break your bond.”

5. “Your parents must be so modernized!”

To an extent, this is true.

Sometimes, you have to fight for it. Other times, you get lucky.

If a couple has been together for a while, it doesn’t mean their parents are always on board.

Some parents are quite modern and want you to find happiness with whoever that may be. It still takes time and patience.

They might need time to understand your partner’s different background, their food, their customs, and their language.

Jokes and ignorance are common. Parents may accept your love for one another, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t have any concerns at all.

Some couples struggle with more apprehensive parents. The ones that say, “oh” when you tell them that your new girlfriend is Indonesian.

Passive aggressive behavior tends to be the main issue here.

In these situations, there can be a lot more drama in the beginning, but eventually simmer down over time. These are the most common types of parents.

Meanwhile, other parents hang on for dear life to the traditions from their home country, and I’m not going to lie.
There have been some scary stories on being kicked out of the house or even disowned, in particularly the Indian community.

Some couples are willing to stick it out, while others don’t think their love is worth it to break up their families. These are the stories that usually make it to news headlines and social media pages.

“The ones that say, ‘oh’ when you tell them that your new girlfriend is Indonesian.”

“I don’t think there are myths around interracial relationships.”

This is good and bad. By all means, have your opinions. I want to stress that that some people definitely do have certain assumptions. At the same time, it’s nice to see that others don’t put interracial relationships on a pedestal.

They don’t think they’re some kind of tool or fantasy experience. They don’t always go through extreme conflict all the time.

This is the direction we are heading in. A lot of us want a future where race isn’t the reason for heartbreak.

We want a future where interracial relationships don’t feel like a sin.

We want a future where interracial relationships lead to what all relationships want. Love.

Some people might not believe there are myths. They may think that there are only misconceptions. Some people may think that these are one and the same.